Night of the Giant Roach

A few nights ago I was relaxing, enjoying TV watching when I decided to grab a snack during a commercial. I got up from my chair, put my bare feet down on the carpet and headed for the kitchen. Oh oh…I notice an ugly big bug clinging to the side of the sofa.

Yikes! I quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed my can of Raid from under the sink. (I had it on hand because I had a prior visit from a roach a couple of years ago.) I got to the sofa and …yikes…where’s the damn bug. Then I spotted him on the floor by the couch so I took aim and sprayed him.

Suddenly he started to move forward, quickly, heading straight for my bare feet. I couldn’t step on him and squish him dead! He was at least 10 feet tall with gleaming beady eyes and antennae waving at me, seeking me out! I panicked!!! I kept backing up, spraying and he kept coming!

Ooops! My bare feet slipped on the carpet and I started falling backwards finally landing on my tailbone and crashing back into the TV cabinet and TV. Crash! Bang! Stars in my eyes! (Good thing the TV is secured with earthquake straps so it survived).

I sat on the floor, dazed, breathing hard, near tears and wondering where the hell is the bug. He had disappeared. I crawled to a chair and pulled myself up then sat for a few minutes taking stock of what happened. I was scared. I didn’t think I’d broken anything but thought I needed a bit of help so I called daughter Renee and within 20 minutes she and Tom were here to calm me down, check me out and find the damn bug.

I asked them to take the Raid and spray all around the sofa, the kitchen and my bedroom. Ahhhh…there’s the bug, lying on the kitchen floor, on his back and kicking his legs. Tom took a few pictures to ID him and then flushed him away.

Since then I have checked out all cupboards and furniture with no more bugs found. I think he probably hitched a ride in from a repair guy or food delivery.

Five days later I am done, I think, with ice packs and heating pads. My whole back is tender and now itches as it heals. I’ve been using a spatula (Laura’s idea) to apply CBD oil and that feels good. Nothing broken except maybe my confidence, a little. And I’m wearing slippers!